'Would You Like To Try a Little Lie Instead?'

2nd Dec 2017 04:50 AM

Our Christmas poem, with apologies to AA Milne...

The King asked
The Queen, and
The Queen asked
The Farmer:
“Could we have some truth for
The Royal slice of bread?”
The Queen asked the Farmer,
The Farmer
Said, “Certainly,
I’ll go and tell the cow
Before she goes to bed.”

The Farmer
She curtsied,
And went and told
The Processor:
“Don’t forget the truth for
The Royal slice of bread.”
The Processor
Said sleepily:
“You’d better tell
His Majesty
That many people nowadays
Like marketing

The Farmer
Said, “Fancy!”
And went to
Her Majesty.
She curtsied to the Queen, and
She turned a little red:
“Excuse me,
Your Majesty,
For taking of
The liberty,
But marketing is tasty, if
It’s very

The Queen said
And went to
His Majesty:
“Talking of the truth for
The royal slice of bread,
Many people
Think that
Is nicer.
Would you like to try a little

The King said,
And then he said,
“Oh, deary me!”
The King sobbed, “Oh, deary me!”
And went back to bed.
He whimpered,
“Could call me
A fussy man;
I only want
A little bit
Of truth for
My bread!”

The Queen said,
“There, there!”
And went to
The Farmer.
The Farmer
Said, “There, there!”
And went to the shed.
The cow said,
“There, there!
I didn’t really
Mean it;
Here’s tracebility for his porringer,
And truth for his bread.”

The Queen took
The truth
And brought it to
His Majesty;
The King said,
“Truth, eh?”
And bounced out of bed.
“Nobody,” he said,
As he kissed her
“Nobody,” he said,
As he slid down the banisters,
My darling,
Could call me
A fussy man – BUT
I do like a little bit of truth to my bread!”